Articles
Some of my favorite writing on psychology, personal growth, and how we can become the person we want to be.
How to Become a Disciplined Person
Dr. Rick and I explore how we can become more disciplined. We talk about whether discipline came naturally to Rick, how to make even frustrating tasks rewarding, how to identify key wants, needs, and aspirations, and learning to feel good when we do good.
Psychological Defenses: How to Understand (and change) Your Mind and Behavior
From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and I explore how our psychological defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being.
The Fawn Response: People Pleasing, Self-Abandonment, and Standing Up for Yourself
Dr. Rick and I finish our series on the stress responses with the fawn response - an appeasement strategy, where we try to manage stressful situations by giving others what they want.
How to Relationship with Elizabeth Ferreira
Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins me to explore how we can create more secure relationships. We talk about the lessons we’ve learned from our relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work.
Becoming Self-Confident, Learning Healthy Relationship Skills, and Trusting Yourself: June Mailbag
In this episode we open the mailbag to answer listener questions.
The Psychology of Manifesting: How to Create the Life You Want
We explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. We debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want.
Understanding the “Flight” Response: Anxiety, Avoidance, and Feeling Safe
Dr. Rick and I discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. We share some practical tools to help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out.
Managing The “Fight” Response: Anger, Repression, and Self-Regulation
Dr. Rick and I continue our series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. We explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation.
Everything You Need to Know About Therapy
Dr. Rick and I explore everything you need to know about therapy - how you can get more from it, finding the approach (and the therapist) that’s right for you, some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive, and how to maximize your results.
Dr. Peter Levine: Healing After Trauma
Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and I to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences.
Recovering from a Challenging Childhood
Dr. Rick and I explore what we can do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult. We discuss how to release repressed emotions, claim agency where we can, and change what we emphasize in the story of our lives.
Dealing with Emotionally Immature People (and Parents) with Dr. Lindsay Gibson
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Dr. Gibson and I explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people.
How to Make the Most of Your 20s with Dr. Meg Jay
Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins me to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives.
Managing the Freeze Response: Dissociation, Emotional Shutdown, and Creating Safety
What do dissociation, avoidance, and shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of my favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick joins me to explore the freeze response in detail and how we can begin to move through it. Towards the end of the episode we discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship.
Working with Irrational Fears, Setting Healthy Boundaries, and Understanding Therapy: March Mailbag
In this episode we open up the mailbag and answer questions from our listeners.
10 Things We Wish We Knew in Our 20s
Dr. Rick and I share (roughly) 10 things we wish we’d known in our 20s. You’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light.
Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Boundaries, and Creating Healthy Relationships
Dr. Rick and I explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally.
Hunger, Habits, and Changing Your Relationship with Food with Dr. Jud Brewer
Dr. Rick, Dr. Jud, and I discuss our eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. We then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the experience of emotional eating.
How to Regulate Yourself with Elizabeth Ferreira
Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins me to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. We walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation.
Build Strong Relationships and Heal in Community with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Dr. Joy and I focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, and how to manage attachment issues that show up in friendships.