Why Don’t We Get Better?
This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content. As a result, I’ve changed in many important ways that have benefitted me enormously. And at the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It’s surprising to me how often - even after learning about all the tools that help people grow for so long - I feel like I’m still pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills.
On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore how much change is possible, what makes change hard, the hidden barriers to real change, and what we can do about them.
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year’s sale is going on now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:55: Why do you want to change?
4:50: Four fundamental strategies
7:00: Three common issues
9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck
12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not
13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself
17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs
24:15: Levity and affection for yourself
27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior
30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change
34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame
39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies
42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing
46:40: Recap
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show: