Dating 101: Green and Red Flags, Your First Fight, Dealing With Rejection

We’ve spent a lot of time on Being Well discussing how to improve our relationships - how to navigate conflict effectively, communicate more skillfully, and create a romantic relationship that’s truly fulfilling - but we’ve spent very little time talking about how to get into one of those relationships in the first place.

This week, Dr. Rick Hanson and I expand our conversation to explore what traits to look for in a potential partner and in your dynamic with them. We discuss life growth curves, how to manage early conflict, healthy approaches for dealing with rejection, and how to support those still navigating a difficult search.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:45: Basic green and red flags to look for in a partner

8:50: Pursuer-distancer dynamic

9:45: Shared growth curves--relationship as a process, not a person

12:50: Riding the river of practical daily life

19:25: Someone who brings out the best parts of you 

25:25: Different kinds of romantic relationships

28:55: Rejection and feeling wanted

30:45: Asymmetry and power dynamics
34:40: Agency within the pain of rejection

40:05: Recognizing self-worth

45:00: Managing early conflict

51:50: The struggle to find a prospective partner

59:40: Recap

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Navigating Familial Estrangement

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How to Find a Long-Term Relationship: Intention, Skills, Marketing