How to Become Psychologically Flexible (from formerly rigid people)
Just like how physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It helps us look at situations in new lights, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being.
Dr. Rick and I both identify as “reformed rigid people,” and in this episode we explore how to become more psychologically flexible. We talk about rigidity as a form of psychological defense, the motivations for rigidity, the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, releasing attachment, and embracing new ways of thinking.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed
2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship
7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices
10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection
15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end
17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities
20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you
22:25: A different perspective on distress tolerance
23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs
27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change
34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’
39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity
41:35: Overidentification with goals and accomplishments
43:40: Stepping into the river
45:20: Recap
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