Changing Your Relationship to Shame

Shame is one of the most complex and difficult emotions we experience on a regular basis, and one that can have seriously negative impacts on our sense of self-worth and ability to experience healthy connection with others.

On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick Hanson and I take a deep dive into what shame is, how it develops, what distinguishes it from guilt and other related emotions, and how questioning our assumptions about it can help us identify its origins in our lives so we can make an informed decision on how to respond to it.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: The biological roots of shame

4:00: How shame is tied to our assumptions about how the world works

7:00: Impropriety and shame as a psychological stage of development

9:55: Distinguishing shame from guilt

14:00: Unnecessary shame, healthy remorse, and your own integrity system

21:55: Who decides what being good looks like?

25:40: Morality in the service of power

32:20: What helps us work with experiences of shame

38:25: Isolation and the value of sharing with others in some way

43:50: Working with your shame story

49:00: Shame, group belonging, and personal changes

51:25: Recap

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The Grieving Brain with Mary-Frances O'Connor